Make revisions to your paragraph using the feedback gained from the peer assessment activity completed in class. Then post the second draft of your paragraph on the blog.
Soekarno,the great hero for indonesia,is the man who wrote and read proclamation text to freed indonesia from colonialism.He was born in Blitar, East Java, June 6, 1901.He graduated from institute of technology bandung and got Ir. Degree.Ir. degree as known as engineer degree. After he graduate he became a leader of PPKI, it is organization for preparing independence of Indonesia. And then on August 17th 1945 he read the proclamation text and this is the day of independence of Indonesia. He really has made a difference. Without him Indonesia is never born in this world. He also created the basis of Pancasila. Pancasila is ideology of the Unitary Republic of Indonesia. In order to unite Indonesia, because of there are so many different culture in Indonesia. Even Sukarno tried to unite the nations in Asia, Africa, and Latin America with the Asian-African Conference in Bandung in 1955.
Sylvester Asthon Doyle Sylvester Asthon Doyle, or I used to call Ash , is my first vocal teacher. Ash was born in Birmingham city, England, in 25 Augusts 1970. I met him in my homeland city, Jambi when I signed up to attend vocal courses in Yamaha Music Centre. Ash is a great man, he came to Indonesia and begin his music career in Jakarta, but Yamaha sent him to Jambi. After a year worked in Yamaha Music Centre, he quit his job, and start to become a tutor. After that, I’m quit from Yamaha and then become his first student in his solo career. I don’t know, why when I am thinking about him, I just want to send out my tears. It’s been a year after he give me his last lesson. I just remember when he teached me, he always saiy that I’m special. Ash always give me a spirit when I’m in my badmood and feeling down. People always scoff him because of his toe, he broke his big toe since he sat in 6th grade of elementary school. Ash is my favourite vocal teacher, he is a dilligent man. Sometimes I just miss him, if someday I meet him again, I just want to sing in front of him, and make him proud become my ex teacher, or maybe it’s not ex because he always live in my heart eventough I don’t know where he is.
My mother is the most influential person in my life. When I was little, I used to dislike playing the piano. To me, playing the piano seemed very complicated. But actually I do admired people who can play piano very good. I always used to watch my mom when she playing my favorite instrument. My mom know exactly that I really wanted to play piano as well as she does. So one day, she taught me very patiently step by step. Almost 2 years she taught me afterwards I learned piano on my own. Now I can play all my favorite instrument every time I like. Maybe without my mother, I wouldn't able to have courage to learn it
A Person Who Has Made a Difference : Synyster Gates
Synyster gates, better known by his stage name, is an american musician. He is musictalent. He graduated from Musicians Institute in Hollywood. He learning about music and musical instrument. So, he can play some musical instrument like guitar and piano. But, he increase his skills especially in guitar as a part of Guitar Institute Program. After a year, he got a phone by his friend and asking him to join a band. From there Syn starts his career in a band. He joined Avenged Sevenfold band as a lead guitarist. His wonderful talents and skills are the priority why this band choose him. He is a songwriter also. He help this band by making some lyrics for their songs. Now, Avenged Sevenfold is one of the biggest band in the world and syn become famous with this band. He has made a difference in modern music lifestyle and it is affected in music lifestyle. We can see now, many people (especially fans of this band) following his music style when he perform and then they got inspiration when he do his solo guitar or doing some expert melody in his song. He is simple but look like an inspirator or motivator for many people life. Now, modern music lifestyle is trend in the world for the teenagers and they enjoy it.
A person who has made a difference: Alexander Graham Bell
Alexander Graham Bell is a person that inventing the first practical telephone. I choose him is because of him, now we have communication tools. And also now a lot of people become inovative to develop these telephone become more useful. Like in the past, we just can telephone each other but now we have text message, fax, and now the most famous one is BBM. I'm sure that all people surely know him. Because he is a great man that made a lot of difference in this world. Now we can communicate with other people in many country easily. At all, i really proud of him because of his inventing in the past that still and always useful for us :)
The person who has made a difference in my life is my father for sure. He is just an ordinary man but he is my motivator in everything. He just graduated in diploma, but what he has to do now is beyond his education. My father has a creative idea to start his job. He started his business before married with my mom. This is occasional business. His business is broker for chicken. I salute him! I can't imagine what my life gonna be if he didn't took this business. He is so patient, you have no idea how patient he is. My friend love him! I don't know why, my friends just said that my father is an ideak father. Beside his ideal characteistic, my father taught me to discipline and not to rely him always. I love him, he is my king in my kingdom.
person who made a difference : steve jobs Steve job is one of the amazing people that could do something that is really significant and he has inspired me. he is the one who discovered apple (macbook) that untill now almost everyone use it. What I have learn from him is to never give up. He once made a speech to a university about his life, he has been dropped out from his university. But he can proove that he still do something usefull to everybody so he discover apple and of course he's really good at visual and graphic design. So that's why I admire him so much.
My Mother is Ribkah. She is 47. She was born in Jakarta on June 8, 1965. I am so proud of her. She can make me a better person. 2 things that she make me so proud of her. She is good mother and hard worker. She doing all the things that housewife must do. She wash my clothes, she clean the floor and cook a food. She teach me a good attitude. She care to me. She give me a food when I am hungry. Sometimes she teach me with the hard way like she angry when I didn’t obey her, or she punish me when I have a bad mark. But totally, She is a good housewife. Day after the day I grow up and become more independent. Then my mother give me responsibility to take care of my little brother. And she work in her own company become drugs assistant in the drug store. She work from 8.00 am until 10.00 pm. Even some of weekend or holiday she still open her drugstore. Because of her all of the people who live nearby always health even in the holiday she still cure the people who sick. She has a good and kind heart. In conclusion, I love her and I am so proud of her. In the future I want to become like her or even better than her.
A Person Who Has Made A Difference:
ReplyDeleteIr. Soekarno
Soekarno,the great hero for indonesia,is the man who wrote and read proclamation text to freed indonesia from colonialism.He was born in Blitar, East Java, June 6, 1901.He graduated from institute of technology bandung and got Ir. Degree.Ir. degree as known as engineer degree. After he graduate he became a leader of PPKI, it is organization for preparing independence of Indonesia. And then on August 17th 1945 he read the proclamation text and this is the day of independence of Indonesia. He really has made a difference. Without him Indonesia is never born in this world. He also created the basis of Pancasila. Pancasila is ideology of the Unitary Republic of Indonesia. In order to unite Indonesia, because of there are so many different culture in Indonesia. Even Sukarno tried to unite the nations in Asia, Africa, and Latin America with the Asian-African Conference in Bandung in 1955.
Nice job bro. I think lee will give u a good mark, wont u ? hahahaha
ReplyDeleteSylvester Asthon Doyle
ReplyDeleteSylvester Asthon Doyle, or I used to call Ash , is my first vocal teacher. Ash was born in Birmingham city, England, in 25 Augusts 1970. I met him in my homeland city, Jambi when I signed up to attend vocal courses in Yamaha Music Centre. Ash is a great man, he came to Indonesia and begin his music career in Jakarta, but Yamaha sent him to Jambi. After a year worked in Yamaha Music Centre, he quit his job, and start to become a tutor. After that, I’m quit from Yamaha and then become his first student in his solo career. I don’t know, why when I am thinking about him, I just want to send out my tears. It’s been a year after he give me his last lesson. I just remember when he teached me, he always saiy that I’m special. Ash always give me a spirit when I’m in my badmood and feeling down. People always scoff him because of his toe, he broke his big toe since he sat in 6th grade of elementary school. Ash is my favourite vocal teacher, he is a dilligent man. Sometimes I just miss him, if someday I meet him again, I just want to sing in front of him, and make him proud become my ex teacher, or maybe it’s not ex because he always live in my heart eventough I don’t know where he is.
A person who has made a difference :
ReplyDeleteMy mother is the most influential person in my life. When I was little, I used to dislike playing the piano. To me, playing the piano seemed very complicated. But actually I do admired people who can play piano very good. I always used to watch my mom when she playing my favorite instrument. My mom know exactly that I really wanted to play piano as well as she does. So one day, she taught me very patiently step by step. Almost 2 years she taught me afterwards I learned piano on my own. Now I can play all my favorite instrument every time I like. Maybe without my mother, I wouldn't able to have courage to learn it
A Person Who Has Made a Difference : Synyster Gates
ReplyDeleteSynyster gates, better known by his stage name, is an american musician. He is musictalent. He graduated from Musicians Institute in Hollywood. He learning about music and musical instrument. So, he can play some musical instrument like guitar and piano. But, he increase his skills especially in guitar as a part of Guitar Institute Program. After a year, he got a phone by his friend and asking him to join a band. From there Syn starts his career in a band. He joined Avenged Sevenfold band as a lead guitarist. His wonderful talents and skills are the priority why this band choose him. He is a songwriter also. He help this band by making some lyrics for their songs. Now, Avenged Sevenfold is one of the biggest band in the world and syn become famous with this band. He has made a difference in modern music lifestyle and it is affected in music lifestyle. We can see now, many people (especially fans of this band) following his music style when he perform and then they got inspiration when he do his solo guitar or doing some expert melody in his song. He is simple but look like an inspirator or motivator for many people life. Now, modern music lifestyle is trend in the world for the teenagers and they enjoy it.
A person who has made a difference: Alexander Graham Bell
ReplyDeleteAlexander Graham Bell is a person that inventing the first practical telephone. I choose him is because of him, now we have communication tools. And also now a lot of people become inovative to develop these telephone become more useful. Like in the past, we just can telephone each other but now we have text message, fax, and now the most famous one is BBM. I'm sure that all people surely know him. Because he is a great man that made a lot of difference in this world. Now we can communicate with other people in many country easily. At all, i really proud of him because of his inventing in the past that still and always useful for us :)
My father
ReplyDeleteThe person who has made a difference in my life is my father for sure. He is just an ordinary man but he is my motivator in everything. He just graduated in diploma, but what he has to do now is beyond his education. My father has a creative idea to start his job. He started his business before married with my mom. This is occasional business. His business is broker for chicken. I salute him! I can't imagine what my life gonna be if he didn't took this business. He is so patient, you have no idea how patient he is. My friend love him! I don't know why, my friends just said that my father is an ideak father. Beside his ideal characteistic, my father taught me to discipline and not to rely him always. I love him, he is my king in my kingdom.
person who made a difference : steve jobs
ReplyDeleteSteve job is one of the amazing people that could do something that is really significant and he has inspired me. he is the one who discovered apple (macbook) that untill now almost everyone use it. What I have learn from him is to never give up. He once made a speech to a university about his life, he has been dropped out from his university. But he can proove that he still do something usefull to everybody so he discover apple and of course he's really good at visual and graphic design. So that's why I admire him so much.
A PERSON WHO HAS MADE a DIFFERENCE
ReplyDeleteMy Mother is Ribkah. She is 47. She was born in Jakarta on June 8, 1965. I am so proud of her. She can make me a better person. 2 things that she make me so proud of her. She is good mother and hard worker.
She doing all the things that housewife must do. She wash my clothes, she clean the floor and cook a food. She teach me a good attitude. She care to me. She give me a food when I am hungry. Sometimes she teach me with the hard way like she angry when I didn’t obey her, or she punish me when I have a bad mark. But totally, She is a good housewife.
Day after the day I grow up and become more independent. Then my mother give me responsibility to take care of my little brother. And she work in her own company become drugs assistant in the drug store. She work from 8.00 am until 10.00 pm. Even some of weekend or holiday she still open her drugstore. Because of her all of the people who live nearby always health even in the holiday she still cure the people who sick. She has a good and kind heart.
In conclusion, I love her and I am so proud of her. In the future I want to become like her or even better than her.